A note about this post: it was written under a time constraints during a BASB workshop. Participants were given a page of quotes and a limited amount of time to construct a blog post. It was a good activity for me in that it helped me to let go spending too much time in research.
"We sleep to forget some of the things we learn each day."
We sat in a semi-slumber in a dark room watching the repetitive flickering screen in front of us. Entranced and lost, we watched Billy Murray's character in Ground Hog Day go through the motions— again and again. He was lost in a pattern. We were enthralled watching, knowing that in some strange way, he mirrored our reality, our helplessness at our own monotony and routine.
Without warning, the film thread ejected from the reel and the emulsion got stuck on the screen— in the background there was a loud clack. The film started to burn and melt. Our sleepwalking shattered with a collective groan. Our reality punctured, we began to notice the smell of fake buttered popcorn, the feel of synthetic red velvet chairs, and the sticky spilled drinks at our feet. In a flash our worries returned.
The theater manager told us that he would refund our tickets. At first one person laughed. And then another. Oh, this is all part of the movie-- this is performance art. The manager insisted, "the projector really did break!" The more he insisted in his comical polyester suit and his high pitched voice, the more we thought that we were in a movie. We desperately wanted fantasy, but we soon learned that had to accept reality.
"The brain highlights what it imagines as patterns; it disregards contradictory information.[1]" We created a narrative to support the fantasy that we wanted to experience. Humans have the ability to selectively see and hear what we want to experience.
We get lost in searching for what isn't there. We seek to avoid the suffering in our lives by giving into distraction. We want to stretch into the a future moment because the present can be so unbearable. Inside of us there is an impatience and deep restlessness. How can I distract myself from the painful moment? Zen Master Suziki Roshi writes, that the “The problem with the word patience is that it implies we are waiting for something to get better, we are waiting for something good that will come.[2]". Instead of fighting for patience, we can grow in in simply staying present.
We can build the muscle of staying in the moment. Roshi writes, "A more accurate word for this quality is constancy, a capacity to be with what is true moment after moment” With constancy and attention, it possible to stay in this moment, this very moment. We can learn to accept that we have everything we need in this moment.
How can we be like Michelangelo carving David out of an amorphous blob of stone? We can choose each moment to slowly unveil the reality of our lives— to see what is hidden.We are invited to step out of the the darkened movie theater and the flickering screen. The bright light can hurt, but the journey into truth is worth the pain. When we accept the moment with all its burden and beauty we can discover how to be awake and live our best lives.
Zen master Suzuki Roshi ↩︎
